Being forgotten!

A "good death," to me, would be a party. I do NOT want people crying over a lost love, friend, or family member. Even if I died tomorrow, have some fun people!!! I know, others would think of a good death in other ways, and I have thought about that too. But, in all actuality I know a truly good death would be dying pain free, with no guilt or wanting re-do's. I would rather be alone with my thoughts. But, I grew up that way, so it is very natural to me. I might want 1 other person there just to make sure someone knows that I am dead. I could not imagine someone laying there for an hour, let alone a week or a month without anyone knowing they were dead.

I think talking about dying comes pretty natural for a lot of people, me included. But, I know it would be hard to talk about if it were someone that would be passing before they think it's "their time." But, depending on the patient, I would go either with a straight talk, or with a sugar coated. They may think their family or friends will forget them. You may want to think about having the patient do change of address letters, or postcards as part of their therapy. This way they know the people they care about know where they are, and what is happening in their life, which is huge!.

In making the decision to move to a hospice, that really just depends on the individual. If someone does not want to go, I will try everything in my power to keep them at home. But, if they do not have someone to take care of them, or are unable to hire in someone, they I would really need to push them into making that decision. And that is when straight talking can some times be the better decision. If you sugar coat things, the patient may not fully understand the benefits that would be available for them at a hospice. Then on top of dealing with yet another move, the patient is taken away from another place, and have to re-acclimate yet again! They patient may withdraw from social situations because they don't know anyone. And it will be our job to get these people to feel comfortable enough to engage in the hospice. Which, depending on the person, may be easy or hard. But, that is one reason why I became an OTAS, I have that natural ability to talk to just about anyone, as long as it is in their best interest.

And, that comes full circle. Because you will need to acclimate someone to hospice, means you will also have to get them, or their family ready, as much as possible for the inevitability that is hospice. Doing a memory book with happy times, from the patient's perspective may give the family something to look back upon when the time comes. This would be a great asset to the grieving process for the family, as well as the patient. It would give them closure on their life. They can tell their story to their family, in their own words, and they won't be forgotten. No one wants to be forgotten!!!

Althazagoraphobia-The Phobia of Being Forgotten